Meeting up

Meeting in person

If you have established trust and would like to meet with someone in person, tell someone where you’ll be and who you are meeting. Meet in public first, and use caution.

Smart phones have the ability to share your location information with a trusted friend or family member. This can run in the background on your phone, and means that someone always knows where you are, without you needing to call them and update them.

• iPhone instructions.
• Android instructions. 

You could also give a trusted friend or loved one the address of where you will be, and send them a screenshot of the profile of the person you are meeting, as well as any other information you have about them. 

• Agree on a time to call/ text (either you call them, or they call you). 
• Arrange a codeword that tells your friend that all is well. 
• Agree on what the friend should do if you do not call or text on time, or if you don’t use the code word (for example, call the police). 

There are also personal safety “silent alarm” apps available that will contact someone only if you do not check in with the system.

If you really do not want anyone to know, you can leave the picture of the person you are meeting open on the desktop of your computer and leave your computer on, with the person’s name, email address or chat name, phone number, and address of where you’ll be written down nearby and easily visible. 

• Make sure you feel comfortable with someone prior to meeting. If you are ready to meet someone, try meeting at a place known to be friendly to LGBTQ+ people if there is one in your area. 
• Make sure you have data on your phone and it’s fully charged, or consider bringing your charger or a portable battery with you.
• Know your limits with alcohol, keep an eye on your own drinks, and don’t accept drinks prepared out of eyesight, or drugs from an unknown source. 
• If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, it can help to find an advocate nearby. You can enlist the help of a waiter or bartender to help you create a distraction or to leave safely.
• Make sure you’re in charge of your own transportation and have a plan to get home. Have a few ride share apps downloaded on your phone so in case one is not working when you need it, you’ll have a backup. 

If you are in an area where being LGBTQ is illegal, have a contingency plan for if you are arrested. For example, give your friends the details of your social media and dating app accounts. That way, if you’re arrested they can communicate with the right NGOs and close down the accounts so the police can’t extract too much information.

Grindr can work with NGOs or friends to close your account immediately in these situations. 

Before you meet in private, spend a few minutes talking about what you want to do (and what you don’t want to do) sexually. This gives you some time to get a sense of this person with others around.  

If someone shows up unexpectedly with other people, be extremely cautious. Do not go to a private location with more than one person. 

Meeting in private

Sharing your home address, or going to a private address can be risky.  If you do feel safe and want to meet privately, here’s what to consider. 

If you host: 

• It is better not to host if your building and area don’t have security measures (such as a doorman, gated community, alarms, locks, etc). Remember, after one visit, the person knows where you live. 
• If your guest arrives with another person without initially discussing this with you, be suspicious and refuse entry. 
• Leave all valuables out of sight, locked away, or with a trusted friend. 
• Keep items that could be weapons out of sight (scissors, knives, bats, etc). 
• Stay alert and awake the entire time the person is there - no sleepovers the first time. Items can disappear while you are asleep and your safety could be in jeopardy. 
• Keep your cell phone charged and in your possession at all times. 
• Keep an eye on your own drinks, even in your own home.
• If someone refuses to leave when you ask them, some options include using command type language (i.e. “Get out of my house now”), calling police, calling a friend, or activating your silent alarm. 
  • Do what makes the most sense to you. In places where being LGBTQ is illegal, or where LGBTQ+ people are not accepted, calling the police may not be an option. 
  • The police or your friend(s) can’t be there immediately after you call. This is a good safety measure to employ, but don’t count on it being your only one. 

If they host:

• Tell at least one person the exact address where you will be and for how long. Consider sharing your location with someone. 
• Set up a silent alarm app on your phone. 
• Keep your cell phone charged and in your possession at all times. 
• If somebody else is at the home when you get there, leave. This is a potential red flag.
• Do not accept drinks, even water, at the person’s home unless you observe the drink being poured. Date rape drugs have no odor or flavor even in water. 
• Stay alert and awake the entire time the person is there - no sleepovers the first time. Items can disappear while you are asleep and your safety could be in jeopardy. 
• If at any point you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, leave immediately. You don’t have to give an explanation. 
• If someone prevents you from leaving, firmly re-state your intention to leave. Other options are calling police, calling a friend, or activating your silent alarm. 
  • Do what makes the most sense to you. In places where being LGBTQ is illegal, or where LGBTQ people are not accepted, calling the police may not be an option. 
  • The police or your friend(s) can’t be there immediately after you call. This is a good safety measure to employ, but don’t count on it being your only one. 

Consent is essential:

• Always ask for consent and respect other people’s boundaries.
• Check profile info (such as tags) to find out what folks are looking for. 
• Share your boundaries around what you want and don’t want to do. 
• Know that you can always change your mind and retract your consent.
• Read more about consent here.
• Some countries have higher protections, such as affirmative consent laws, which are important to be aware of. 

Practice safer sex:

• Get tested for HIV and other STIs regularly. 
• Always have conversations with the people you meet about your safety expectations. 
• Learn about STI prevention options. 
• For more info, read our Sexual Health Resource guide or visit BHOC here.

If you need help

Even if you follow all of our tips, no harm reduction plan is perfect. If you have a negative experience, help is available. 

You can also block and report profiles that make you feel unsafe or violate our Community Guidelines. Blocking stops users from contacting you again. Reporting helps us take appropriate action to keep the Grindr community safe.

Our moderation team can review conversations and profile information, even if someone has blocked you. If you’re unable to report in-app, you can report directly to our team for support.

If you need additional support, you can reach out to  Human Rights or LGBTQ+ organizations for help.And if you feel comfortable, consider reporting the incident to law enforcement.