Articles in this section

See more

Consent

Consent is essential. Respect boundaries, and state your own.

We want everyone on Grindr to have fun without being hurt. The key to this is consent: a discussion between you and others about what you want to do together and what your boundaries are.

  • Ensuring consent means getting explicit and enthusiastic confirmation that your partner/s feels safe, affirmed, and are enjoying themselves.
  • Providing consent means letting your partner/s know that you are enjoying yourself and feel comfortable with everything that is happening.
  • Consent is always reversible — you can change your mind about what you want to do at any time, including stopping everything. Just because you may have given consent for something on Grindr, over text, or in person, does not mean you are obligated to do that when you meet up.

Ensure consent, every time

Ensuring consent means getting explicit, enthusiastic confirmation that your partner/s feels safe, affirmed, and are enjoying themselves.

  • Discuss boundaries and expectations early and often.  One way to do this is to share a list of what you definitely want, definitely don’t want, and are open to trying.
  • Not everyone on Grindr wants to have an explicit conversation right away (or, in some cases, ever). Ask for consent before sending nude photos or explicit messages, and don’t post these things publicly.
  • Ensure consent before and during any sexual activity, including kissing, touching and oral sex.
  • Agree that either of you can stop at any time. As soon as a person withdraws consent, the sexual activity must stop.
  • Someone can change their mind and withdraw consent at any time.
  • If someone consents to one thing (like kissing), it doesn’t mean they’ve consented to other things (like touching).
  • If someone has consented to something previously, it doesn’t mean they will consent to that activity every time.
  • You can’t assume that someone is consenting because they don’t say no.

How do we ensure that consent is present?

Checking in throughout can look like:

  • “Do you wanna try…?”
  • “Does that feel good?”
  • “Is this okay?”
  • Working it into dirty talk: “I wanna… Would you like that?”
  • “How does it feel when I…?

Verbal consent means they’re giving indications of what they like:

  • “Don’t stop!”
  • “Faster/harder/softer/slower”
  • “Can you touch me here?”
  • “Oh, I like that!”

Non-verbal consent can look like:

  • They’re leaning into you.
  • They’re making noises of pleasure such as moaning.
  • They’re initiating.
  • They’re kissing you back.
  • They are in the moment and fully present.

If your partner says “no,” "stop", stays silent, or even says yes but seems unsure or uncomfortable, then you DON’T have consent to continue. Stop and ask if they are okay.

Signs a person might be uncomfortable can look like:

  • Freezing, tensing up, or not responding to what you’re doing.
  • Moving away from you.
  • Being visibly upset.

Providing Consent

Providing consent means letting your partner/s know that you are enjoying yourself and are consenting to everything that is happening.

You can provide consent by explicitly agreeing to certain activities, either by saying “yes” or another affirmative statement, like “I’m open to trying.”

Don't feel obligated to do anything you don't want to do. It doesn’t matter why you don’t want to do something.

If you don’t know what to say, try:

  • “No, I want to stop doing…”
  • “Could we try something else?”
  • “I’m not feeling comfortable with…”
  • “I want to stop and go home.”

Even if you don’t say no, you can still communicate that you don’t want to do something. Simply not being interested is reason enough. Do only what feels right to you and what you are comfortable with.

There are situations where people can’t provide consent (even if they say yes), because they can’t freely choose. This includes if they’re:

  • Heavily affected by drugs or alcohol.
  • Unconscious or asleep.

Consent is a free and voluntary agreement, so if someone has been manipulated or threatened into saying yes, or is too scared to say no, this is not consent.

If you suspect sex trafficking is taking place, please report to us immediately.

Consent is always reversible

  • You can change your mind about what you want to do at any time.
  • For example, having sex with someone in the past doesn’t give that person permission to have sex with you again in the future.
  • Just because you may have given consent for something on Grindr does not mean you are obligated to do that when you meet up.
  • You can withdraw consent by clearly communicating to your partner that you are no longer comfortable with this activity and wish to stop.
  • If you are concerned about angering or upsetting someone, you can lie or make an excuse to create an exit. Some excuses you could use are: not feeling well, having to be somewhere else by a certain time, excusing yourself to use the bathroom.
  • It’s a good idea to create an exit plan in advance, so you know what you plan to do if you ever feel uncomfortable or unsafe.

What to do if you experience abuse

If you have a negative experience, please know that we care, and that help is available.

  • If you or someone else is in immediate danger call emergency services.
  • If you experience any kind of abuse, online via Grindr or in person with someone you met from Grindr you can report their profile to us and block them.
  • You can get support from one of these LGBTQ+ friendly organizations.
  • You can report to the police if you want to, and you can bring a support person with you.

Learn more

Resources

Was this article helpful?
1135 out of 1328 found this helpful
Have more questions? Submit a request
Return to top

Related articles